The concept of Prince Charming is a old tale that follows the basic pattern love story of falling head over heels for your knight in shining armor. The young maiden in distress is usually saved by the heroic efforts of the Prince and they live happily ever after. This sounds like a pretty cushy lifestyle so why did I reject this traditional romantic plot? Two main reasons: I rarely settle and my desire for freedom and adventure.
Many women like me are looking for their Prince Charming and believe that when they find him life will be magical. Well it is. I met my ex 2 years ago under very random circumstances and we hit it off immediately. We didn’t start dating until months after meeting because we both wanted to make sure we were making a commitment with someone we had gotten to know and saw a future with. Time and time again he proved to be my knight in shining armor helping me overcome my own insecurities and realize how much potential I really have.
I can whole heartily admit that I love my ex and no matter our relationship status he will be considered my best friend and one of my greatest confidants. There were no red flags, tip offs, or warning signs that signaled it would be a good idea to be a part. He wasn’t cheating, lying or even getting on my nerves in the slightest. In fact he was the total opposite. Faithful, committed, honest, present, thoughtful, funny, respectful and encouraging. Even with all that I still wanted some degree of freedom. Not from him but from myself. Since my freshman year of high school I’d been in and out of more relationships than I’d like to admit and never gave myself a chance to truly be alone. I’d always tell myself I’d hold off being in a relationship and give myself time but was never able to keep my promise. I needed freedom from my old ways of giving up myself.
So what changed this time around? Why did I actually follow through with what my heart wanted? I applied for a four month study abroad program and was accepted, offering a perfect storm of fate and opportunity. With the way our relationship was going, we would be together for a while because everything was great. I had no complaints about him. The choice was clear to me: If I didn’t take the chance to be a part while abroad, I wouldn’t do it.It was not the easy choice but something I felt that needed to be done in order to ensure my happiness. Even though there were many tears from both sides I know I would regret it to some degree if I didn’t. I wouldn’t want my lack of ability to say what I really wanted to be the reason I held an unfair grudge against my man.
My boyfriend also has had a more racially diverse companion background than I. I have only dated black men and all but one have been from Philadelphia. As I mentioned earlier I rarely settle, therefore this aspect of my life is in need of something more. This is not to say that I will now deliberately go out of my way to date outside of my normal demographic but rather I want to get to know more people, go outside of my comfort zone and add more color to my life.
Even now it is hard to admit that we’re no longer together (hence my phrasing of “being a part” vs “breaking up” throughout this article- the latter is too difficult to admit to).
However, I keep reminding myself that once finding my Prince Charming was all I thought I ever wanted until I realized I wanted to find myself even more.